Make The Ugly Art
I don't know where I first encountered that sentiment - on social media, certainly, but who said it? Not important. But I am thinking about making ugly art this morning and want to capture these thoughts so I can look back and reassure myself.
Nearly every painting I make has a phase where I start to lose it. I lose faith in my ability to make what's in my head appear on the page, I lose confidence, I start listening to the inner critic. I tell myself to trust the process, and sometimes that works. I tell myself This is how you know it's not AI (because it's not perfect) and that can sometimes amuse me enough to get to the finish line.
And I also know that my viewers aren't seeing my reference photo or the picture in my head, so no one will know that I felt let down while I was painting this or that.
But I think one of the most encouraging things I have said to myself in these times is this:
I have to make the ugly art to get to the good stuff.
Ugly art is also valuable, for my process, for learning, for humility. And often I come back the next day and decide it isn't so bad after all.
I also need reminding that I am in partnership with the Holy Spirit to create the art I make. I am not alone in this endeavor and listening to His voice instead of the inner critic might be the lesson I need for this moment.
Plus, embracing my ugly ducklings, so to speak, is a more sure path to retaining a playfulness in my approach. I believe the playfulness is absolutely necessary to being able to continue. And the funny thing? The ones that I struggled with are often the ones that resonate with my audience. The ones that just flowed and pleased me sometimes don't get any attention. Go figure.
So I suppose it's on me to just continue, with gratitude that I have this ability in any degree, and to learn to love all of the art I make. It's all beautiful.
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